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About Braga

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Then, I decide to take a stroll. I walk down to the waterfront. The view is stunning! The sun setting over the water, the boats bobbing around. I’m feeling all philosophical, like, “Life’s good, man.” But then, I step in a puddle. My shoes are soaked. “Great, just great,” I mutter.